Jasper Oliver C. A Birth Story
I want to take time and write my sons' birth stories. Today is Jasper's Birthday, so I'll start with his.
Four years ago I was pregnant with a second child, convinced I was having a girl because before my mom died she had a dream that I had a little girl. In her dream she saw a little boy that she assumed was my oldest son Simon and behind him was a little blonde, curly haired little girl holding his hand. Guys, I was so sure I was having a girl that I declined all ultra sounds. Why scan the kid an extra time. Besides, have you read all the negative media publishing out there regarding the negative effects of ultra sounds. So, yeah, I decided to be as natural as I could with not just my birth plan, but the entire pregnancy.
After my mom passed away five years ago I had a miscarriage ( I believe that was the girl my mom saw in her dream). We were living with my dad and helping him take care of the house payments and just living. This was not a good situation. My dad was coping with the loss of my mom in a very horrible and destructive way. Taking things out on me, lashing out at my oldest son and so on. I was so stressed, to say the least. My marriage was on the rocks, my dad was unrecognizable and our saving was completely depleted from the move to Oregon, zero income as we looked for jobs and tried to recoup after the funeral. Me becoming pregnant was something I took as a blessing and a gift from the Lord in my chaos.
I have a physical job, I'm a PTA. Lifting and transferring patients. So, along with the stress I was facing at home and a physical job, I went into labor at 30 week. Arriving at triage, I was not about to have this baby. I was completely not ready. They stopped my labor that night and told me to take it easy. At 33 weeks I had a baby shower scheduled. The day before my gender neutral shower ( I still didn't know if it was a boy or girl) I went into labor again. I had to get a shot to stop the labor, and spent the day being monitored and such at the hospital. I was put on bed rest. As part of procedure, they had to do an ultra sound to make sure the baby was ok. I agreed. I looked over at the screen to just get a glimpse of the baby and said, "are those balls!" You guys! I was shocked. The MD answered, "I know you wanted to be surprised, but yes, those are boy parts". Boy, was a surprised! I was going to keep this a secret but that very moment Vlad came in with dinner and I couldn't keep it in. We were having a second boy! In seconds I was completely overjoyed! His name was Jasper from that very moment. Well, we picked that name a few weeks before that. But, now I was able to actually talk to him and tell him to just stay put, to hold on just a few weeks more, and just call him by name. Knowing I won't loose him, declaring life into him as I prayed, "Lord you are a good father, you give good gifts, and this little boy is a good healthy, whole gift."
At my baby shower the next day, I announced I was having a boy. We had a lot of yellows and neutral tones for him. Oh, and I got five bath tubs. lol. Everyone thought I was having a girl. During the baby shower, I was having contractions the entire time. My coworker, Janet, was there. I told her about the bed rest situation, but still wanted to put in some hours. She told me she wasn't going to schedule me anymore and that I was going to have this baby on her Birthday, April 8th. I laughed it off because that was way too soon.
When I was 36 weeks pregnant we moved out to live in an apartment. I won't write why we had to move out so fast, but it was not pretty. The apartment that was available to move into within 24 hours was on the third floor. Hauling boxes around and walking those stairs was not in keeping to the bed rest. Six days later, at 36 weeks and 6 days, my water broke.
On April 8th, at 6:30 am. I called my friend to wish her happy birthday, then told her my water broke. I love my dear friend. So, it was a beautiful day to have him on. Vlad called labor and delivery and said, "my water broke! and my wife's birthday year is 1880". The nurses all told us they had a good laugh first thing in the morning.
My sisters met us at the hospital because I wanted them both to be there for the labor and delivery. At 7:15am I was in the hospital room, ready to go. I had breakfast and real quick after that the contractions picked up. I was not a happy camper, told my little sister and my son Simon to leave. I don't like to hear people talk when I'm in labor.
I allowed a student nurse to be in the room who kept trying to convince me to put in an IV. I declined that because I absolutely hated it with my first. It was making me sick. So I asked them not to put it in. Besides, my labors are pretty quick. And I wanted to do it all natural. Before anyone knew it, I was ready to push the kid out. At the last minute, I was having a hard time breathing and asked for air. Breathing the air through the O2 mask made me focus on my breath and take my mind off the intensity of contractions. I started to pass out from the pain. The nurse put that IV in like a pro. I mean with in seconds. As she was doing that, I turned on my side and told the nurses and midwife and the rest of the people there that were there that I needed to start pushing- in other words, I had to poo. Labor is not pretty you guys. I pushed twice and my precious gift was placed in my arms at 10:11am, all 7lb and 19 inches long of pure goodness. That moment, I was overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. I cried. He was a gift in my time of confusion, loss, and heart break. That gift from the Lord was tangible and a miracle and - sigh, I was so deeply in love with my second son.
There was a hole in my heart from loosing my mom and having the miscarriage, but, the Lord filled it with a little treasure.
Jasper Oliver Chmykhalov
Jasper means "treasure of the Lord", or "the Lord's treasure" or just "treasure". Oliver mean "affectionate" The name suits him so well.
We love you so much Jasper.
How precious is this little guy! Those first three days were like honey to my soul. I needed him so much.
Not my favorite part of having a baby is the hospital stay.....
I had what seemed like a gazillion tests done. I was deemed gestational diabetic this pregnancy because I had it with Simon. So we had to pass those blood tests. And they deemed Jasper a preemie because he wasn't quite 37 weeks gestation. Those next 20 hours were brutal. I couldn't bond with the baby because I was exhausted from lack of sleep and just giving birth. The nurses kept coming in every hour for this, that, or another. They kept waking Jasper up to take blood, do tests and more tests. Even though he was healthy. Because he was that one day off from being 37 weeks, the hospital had to do all the preemie testing on him - per routine. The hospital wanted us to stay another night for more monitoring and testing! I really felt I had to fight to go home with my healthy baby, and not do extra, unneeded tests. All his blood tests and hearing test and such were coming back normal. But you know, protocol.
Even though I hate the hospital stay, to me it's the safest place to have a baby. Still, I wish my insurance covered a birthing center birth. I think it would have taken some of that unneeded stress off, and more bonding with a new baby. I would still do it again. Pregnancy and birth is heard business, but it's so worth it. It's ugly beautiful. Painful and euphoric. I don't know, I guess that's what makes a woman powerful, to birth a miracle baby, powerful.
Here are some hospital must haves:
a breast pump is provided with insurance in Portland, so I didnt get one here. But, I had a good one when my first was born. And a Boppy Pillow is a must. For me it was.
Swaddle blankets are a must, must, must. and these super soft, I want to live in them, are my absolute favorite.
As far as diapers go, I always get the most "natural" material made diapers for the new born stage, then whatever brand is on sale. Still in the chlorine and chemical free family.
Bottles; I love the Joovy Boob glass bottle. but, for that new born stage I always got this one. I mean, I always nursed, but some days, I just needed a break.
You guys, nowadays, you have to sign a concent form for hospitals to give you a pacifier. So bring your own. I always loved a natural rubber paci. why would I have my new born suck on some plastic filled with chamicals. These are all natural. love.
Breast feeding.... sigh... those first three weeks are a nightmare. I dont care what you say - that was crazy times for me. lol, I needed creams, and pads, and cooling pads, and nippple protectors... sigh, yeah...I cried a lot. Oh, these nursing covers are my favorite thing in the world. I ordered a few so I always had one when one or two were in the laundry.
Car seat: I did research and loved so many car seats. We went with the britax because of the ratings and such, but if I were to do it again I would go with The Peg Perego that I'll link. It wasnt out when I had Jasper. But, it's eveyhting I dream of in a car seat.